1. Science
Girls Aloud have proved they’ve got Chemistry and Biology sorted.
2. History / English Literature
Keira Knightley. You’ve read the books, now watch Miss act them out.
3. Geography
International jet-setters Brangelina could tell him all about the world – then fly him around it. Maybe they’ll adopt him, too!
4. French
Thierry Henry. Your boy will learn to bore you bilingually about ‘le football’. Meanwhile, you can just enjoy gazing at Monsieur Va-Va-Voom!
5. PE
Jackie Chan. “OK, lads. Either we can do a cross-country run, or I’ll teach you to win any scrap with just one flick of your little finger. Your call.”
6. Home Economics
Ant and Dec. Sponge cakes and casseroles? Nah. He’ll soon be serving up tasty live witchetty grub salads.
7. Maths
Richard Hammond. “A racing circuit is 2.3 miles around. How long would 20 laps take in a 160mph Porsche? Work it out and then we’ll try it for real.”
8. Music
Green Day if he’s up for learning an instrument. Spoony if he fancies doing the DJ module.
9. Computer studies
Jessica Alba. Not actually teaching, just watching, dead impressed, as he racks up a record score on the latest Xbox game.
10. Drama
Emma Watson. Didn't want to do drama before though did he?
